So, I have just taken my lovely dog, Oscar, out for a walk at Castle Neroche (a hilly woodland walk - about a 10 minute drive from my house). It was a brilliant walk albeit very foggy and I came across no-one else whilst ambling along. On the way back, however, I had been driving back home along the country lanes for about a minute when it was time to turn right at a junction. I was waiting for a couple of cars to pass allowing me to turn right and as I was waiting I noticed a very swanky and shiny, black 4x4 vehicle stopped on the road I was about to turn onto. "I wonder why?" I thought, "maybe the driver has seen a massive lorry coming along the road and is allowing it to pass?" But I knew this probably wasn't the case as this particular road is extremely bumpy - only the other day I banged my head on the ceiling of my car whilst driving along it - it's more of a roller coaster than a road and no lorry would survive.
Anyway, so I when I was able I turned right on to the new road surrounded by woodland. I decided to wait behind the 4x4 for a bit to see if the driver would move if they noticed another car behind it. But no. The 4x4 did not budge. So I pulled out and slowly overtook this stationary 4x4. As I was passing it I turned my head to look at the driver, see if he/she had stopped because he/she needed some help. However, to my surprise there was no driver in the vehicle. It had stopped, the engine was still running, the vehicle lights still on, but no-one was in it. It was not only until I drove level with the bonnet of the 4x4 that I saw what was obviously the driver stood outside on the side of the passenger door wearing a black suit as just stood still facing away from the road... WHAT ON EARTH??? Yes, HE (emphasis on the fact this driver was of the male species) must have stopped to pee on the side of the road, but if you knew this road I'm talking about he probably chose the most conspicuous place to do it, plus he just stopped his car on the road without even an attempt to pull it over on to the verge so that other car drivers, like myself, could pass it with ease and without suspicion. You would think being a woodland road it might have been quite a secluded spot for a little urination, but he had stopped right next to a junction on a road that even though it was very much in the countryside it was main enough to have a white dotted line separating the left and right lanes. WHAT A FOOL!!! Normally if someone is desperate to pee whilst driving on a road they would a) wait to find somewhere suitable to pull over and stop, b) make sure they couldn't be seen by any members of the public. I know it's different for men as they don't have to bare all and 'elegantly' squat like us ladies do, but it's still not particularly pleasant for a member of the public to pass by and see some random stranger relieve themselves in clear view. And the wearing of the suit just made the weirdo look even more foolish.
So, in true Michael McIntrye style I turned my head as I drove passed him and stared at him as if to say "IDIOT!"
In the words of that old-school pop group OMC, "how bizarre" !
